How to F*$%-ing Hide Content in HTML Emails in Outlook on Windows!

Here’s how you f*$%-ing do it! Just wrap the content you want to f*$%-ing hide in this client-specific conditional.

<!--[if !mso 9]><!-->
This will not appear in Outlook on Windows.
<!--<![endif]-->

Since you’re probably using HTML tables to structure your emails, and you’re probably using CSS classes to hide and show different duplicate content for desktop and mobile, your code will probably look something like this:

<style>
.showOnMobile {
    display: none;
    overflow:hidden;
}
@media screen and (max-width:684px) {
    .showOnMobile {
        display: block !important;
    }
}
</style>
<!--[if !mso 9]><!-->
<td class="showOnMobile">
This will not appear in Outlook on Windows.
</td>
<!--<![endif]-->

There you have it. Now go and do something useful with your time instead of f*$%-ing around with HTML emails all f*$%-ing day long!